We want your short stories. Once this site is up and running, we will publish two short stories per week. Once a year, these stories will be printed in the Fuck Fiction anthology, made available in dead tree format on your least favorite commercial internet monopolies. For those of you lacking in mathematical prowess, that means that each issue of Fuck Fiction will be comprised of one hundred and four short stories.
What do you mean ‘short’?
Alfred Kinsey said the average human male could only last about two minutes in the sack, excluding foreplay, which itself is rarely a prolonged engagement. Then comes the grand finale: the orgasm, the little death. This lasts for only a few seconds. But that’s okay. Life itself is brief. The world is billions of years old and we, as a species, have only been here for a few hundred thousand of them. Our records go back only a couple of thousand years, our families a few hundred, and as individuals we have a life expectancy of a pithy sixty-odd years.
Nothing in life is permanent, said the Buddha. Suffering stems from the expectation of permanence, and therefore it is clearly in our best interests to embrace brevity. Enjoy the glimpses of beauty before they’re gone, and when they’re gone, let them go and move on to the next. That’s life.
Let’s get one thing straight: Fuck Fiction is not necessarily fiction about fucking, although we’re not opposed to that sort of thing. It is fiction that could be read in the time it takes to fuck, discounting cuddling and the post-coital cigarette. We’re not the right venue for literary porn stars. We don’t intend on publishing the short story equivalent of 1Q84 or Infinite Jest. If your prose thrusts though a whole a whole Barry White album instead of just one song, then you’re in the wrong place. We prefer it quick and hard.
What do you mean by ‘stories’?
Just because it lasts two minutes doesn’t mean it can’t be the best two minutes of your life. A short story should still be a full story – complete, complex, convincing. It can be about anything, but it must stand alone. We’re not the place you go to promote your novel by passing off its first chapter as a fully fleshed piece. It must be satisfying, and by that we don’t mean it must have a happy ending. The reader must finish the story and know it’s finished. Done. Fin. They shouldn’t have to turn the page and find the next one blank in order to know that they’ve stopped reading.
They said Ernest Hemingway wrote the shortest story ever. That doesn’t necessarily mean it was the best, and we know for sure that a writer who tries to copy Hemingway is on the fast-track to failure, but it should nonetheless serve as inspiration. It went:
“For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.”
Look at that. A whole story in six words. We’re not asking for that kind of brevity (although if you can nail it, we’ll buy you a drink) but if you could get that sort of sentiment crammed into fifty or five hundred words, then you’re the writer we’re looking to publish.
…Why so vulgar?
Life is what it is. A spade is a spade is a spade. And sometimes you don’t make love, have intercourse, bump uglies, or get to know the intimate details of a lover’s body; you just fuck. Euphemisms are well and good, but so is the ability to speak plainly, especially when time is short. That is why we are Fuck Fiction.
How do I submit?
If you think your story fits with the descriptions above, as well as the existing stories on our site, then send an e-mail to admin [at] fuckfiction [ dot] net. In the body of your e-mail, include your name (obviously), a short biography to accompany your story, and the story itself. If it’s too long to fit in the body of the e-mail, it’s probably too long for us. We have no strict word limit. If it holds our attention, its in; if it doesn’t, it’s out. Whether it’s a yay or a nay, you will receive a prompt reply to your submission.
In the future, we will accept submissions as video and audio files.
Who is behind this project?